My Confession

So guess what? I’ve been depressed and it’s bad, I don’t want to say how bad, just think of the worst than double it. It’s not over yet but I’m here alive and trying as hard as I can.

So I have THIS list of all these happy things that I like to do, this is the list they ask you to write when you seek a therapist for depression.

So I use it (yep) I really do use it. And so in my depressive state I looked at my list and I committed to it and in that moment it’s was like Russian roulette but the gun was loaded and my fate is set in stone. I have to go do something, anything and it’s hard and painful but I know I have to keep going on and so I close my eyes and pick one of these things to do and do it, because I know it’s good for me and I really like to do what’s on my list, it’s just when depression sets in nothing seems like fun. (It’s so annoying because I love having fun!)

So what happens when this list fails me? When this list full of exercise, travel, happy thoughts, meditation, talking to friends isn’t freaking working anymore! It’s not beating my depression? Why? So do I just give it up, Well,…. I did just that, I let go (kicking and screaming) but I let go.

What happen next was something so silly this thought in my head so wild.

My mom had a day care when I was growing up I was about 6 and I remember coming home from school and singing with them in a circle this song “Going on A Squeegee Hunt!”

I think of it now in my depression and it made/makes me smile so big because my depression is just this simple I can’t go over it, can’t go under it … gotta go through it” just like this kids song. So my dear depression I gotta get through you in order to heal and you are loosing this round because, I’m winning this battle.

I don’t know if this blog will help anyone or if anyone will read it. I just want to say depression is real and it’s HARD no one wants to feel this way. It’s ok to admit your not well without feeling stigmatized by people who don’t get it, because at the end of the day you matter and you are loved by so many people that understand.

So much love to you & below is my list in case you need some ideas.

The list — Ice

Steal this take my ideas hope this helps you in some way! snuggle my pets
help someone
walk the dog
go for a run
do something nice for someone
visit the art museum
go for a long ride
call a friend
visit a friends
sing loud to a song
dance dance dance
watch a TED talk
read a book
study nutrition
listen to music
go for a walk
go to the gym
go for a hike
go to a movie
netflix binge
have dinner
go read at the coffee shop
take dance class at the gym
take a trip
go camping
suprise someone with something nice
go swimming
go kayakng
give a friend a present
cook something for someone
take a nap
visit a shelter
smile at a stranger
indilge on french fries
write a letter
write yourself a love letter
write someone a love letter
draw something
make a pillow fort
nurf football in the park (catch only)
make a smoothie
write down things Im greatful for
read all my favorite quotes
read all my favorite poems

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Aimee Vegezy

I am Aimee. Welcome to my website. Whether you are thriving with a chronic illness or just want to get a little bit healthy. I hope I can be your guide.